Money

If ever you hear the term "money is the root of all evil" just know that it is false. What is actually true is that the LOVE of money is evil. Setting money as your priority in causes you to worship and love it. That is where evil truly stems. When you worship other idols and not God, you will find yourself in trouble. Putting anything above God or even next to Him is making it an idol. Your motives are how you can examine this placement. For where your money is there your heart will be also. If you want to know what your heart is like, just look at where your money is going. Now here are some money tips from your dad. Some may not apply until later in your life but I will help you along the way.

Budget
Get a budget and stick to it. It doesn't matter if you make $10 or $10,000 a month, you need to make sure you control your money and not the other way around. Don't make up an excuse to not revise a budget. You should take a look at it every month to ensure you are following it and to make adjustments where they are needed. A budget is real simple to work with and there are some basics that your budget should include. Figure out your net take home income (this means the amount actually deposited into your bank account) and then work on distributions from there.

1. Giving - This is for charitable contributions, including the church, you should be giving what is appropriate for your budget but you can't leave this out. You do not have to give to your church but you should find somewhere your heart is at and give there.

2. Saving - You need to have at least 3 months of living expenses but 6 months is even better. That means that if you add up all your bills that you are obligated to pay for every month, including groceries, you should have that covered in the event of an emergency. If your bills total to $1,000 a month, then you need to have $3,000 to $6,000 in your emergency savings. Your next consideration would be replacement savings. This account is for a large purchase that you plan to make in the future. Maybe a car or vacation. You have to pay cash for these so if you store it away you can save up enough to make these large purchases happen. The third part of savings is long term but I'll cover that in my investment section. How these sections work is that after you have filled out the other sections of your budget you will review how much you have left and then distribute it among your giving and savings.

3. Debt - This category should not exist if you follow your budget. I will have your school cost covered so you don't have to worry about school debt. The only thing I can say about this section is don't let it happen, no matter what. If you can't pay cash for it then you can't afford it. Add it to your replacement savings and come back later to buy it.

4. Housing - This cost is going to be a large part of your budget and the only place you are allowed to take on some debt is a mortgage. This includes: rent/mortgage, utilities; electric, gas, water, trash, telephone/internet, cable, cell phone, and any other housing cost. My recommendation is to avoid having rent. You are paying money for something that you will get no return or value from. Buying a house is a big deal though and I haven't gotten to this stage yet so my advice is limited in this aspect. Try to have 20% down when you buy a house, it will save you a lot of money in the long run. All this depends on your current situation but if you can keep these cost low until you buy a house, you'll get there a lot faster. Take the cheaper TV package with less channels or the cell phone plan with less options. The wealthy are smart spenders. They have money because they worked hard for it but they have more because they use it wisely.

5. Auto/Transport - You should not have a car payment because you will pay cash for all your purchases. You need to consider the cost of gas and parking if you work downtown. This is one that may change with the change in gas prices but should be one you make sure is slightly over estimated. Also consider maintenance cost like oil changes or tires. You can save some money by doing your own oil change. I'll teach you how.

6. Insurance - This is cost that are actually incurred by you. If you have health insurance through work and it is taken out pre-tax you do not need to count it here. You will have to have insurance for your car and this will be a consideration for when you purchase a car. You may want to get the nicer car since you have the cash for it but your insurance cost will be higher if you have full coverage. The more expensive your car, the more expensive your insurance will be. So consider a cheaper car that you can replace easily in the event of a crash. Homeowners insurance is in this category as well. If you have at least 20% down when buying a house you won't have to pay a mortgage insurance, which is different that homeowners insurance. Another consideration is that the more expensive the house, the more expensive the insurance. Buy only as much house as you need. You can always make improvements to your house as it needs it if you save money by buying only what you need. Life insurance is also considered here but I have a plan that covers you for life and you can increase it by $20,000 every year after you turn 18 without taking a health exam.

7. Household/Personal - This is where your groceries and other simple necessities come in on your budget. Clothing. gifts, barber, pet food, house supplies, and other basic items. This section does not include eating out. Another good money saving tip is to cook all your own food for every meal. The cost savings are huge. When you buy a burger at a restaurant it can cost almost 10 times as much as appose to you just making it at home.

8. Entertainment - This category should be closely monitored as it is one of the easiest categories to go over in. Eating out, movies, Starbucks, gym fees, hobbies, and fast food all go here. It is easy to go over budget on these and typically the cash envelope system is heavily used here. You take the money you are allowed to use for that month and you put it in an envelope. Once the cash is gone, you are done. Easy to not spend what you don't have. Be disciplined in this area. It can cause you budget some serious issues. Also keep this reasonable low. It should not be more that how much you give or save a month, it should almost be your lowest category budget wise.

9. Other Items - Not every dollar you spend is going to fall into one of these categories, so be sure you know what isn't covered and plug it into your budget.

10. Investments - This includes your retirement and long term. You should never incur debt so this should always be an option for you. If you ever have debt, you stop contributing to your investments and pay off your debt as quickly as possible. Once you have your emergency savings to an appropriate amount this option is now available. Take advantage of any employer matches to your 401(K). Depending on your current tax bracket it may or may not matter if you invest in a retirement account that is taxed on the other end. Typically it is best to just stick with a 401(K) because of the tax benefits but if you can find better returns that out weigh the tax benefits then by all means head that direction. At a younger age look at more high risk/high return options. One nice money gainer would be a peer to peer lending investment. Do your research before investing your money anywhere. Talk to people who know what's up and have sound advice. It's your money and this section lets you allow it to do a little work for you.

Keep control of your money and you'll find your days and nights to be a lot more peaceful. Wealth and wisdom go hand in hand. If you can be trusted with a little, you can be trusted with more.

Love ya,
Dad

A Few Good Men

Son, you will often find out that your greatest assets are not in bank accounts. The people and friends that are a part of your life are worth more than any material item. Surround yourself with wise people whom can educate you and provide wisdom that they have acquired through years of growth. Have the types of friends that want to help make you better and encourage you in the good and bad times. Find the people that are the best at what they do and learn from what makes them excel in that area. You will have your talents and skills that are better than others but you will never be done learning and improving. The people that we have around us are the ones that help shape us. Those that you learn from are like chisels, try to learn from people who will shape you into a better you. You can decide your future, it has not been decided for you. How you want tomorrow to be, depends on how you allow today to shape you.

There are a few key influences and people in my life I want to tell you about. These are just a few, I have many but these I want to share with you.

Coach - My high school basketball coach had one of the largest impacts on my life. As I grow and learn more, the things he taught that have shaped me have not left me. He always expected the best out of me and taught me to expect the same from myself. If I am not trying my hardest there is no reason to try. He taught me hard work will be recognized and rewarded. There are no short cuts. You have to work your butt off to excel at what you do. "Good, better, best. Never ever rest. Until the good is better, and the better's best." Being a leader is about more than just being good at what you do, you have to focus on the whole picture and getting everyone there, not just yourself. If you think you're leading and you look behind you to find no one following then you just went for a walk. Be someone that others can look up to, even when they can't see you. Stay hungry for success. Those whom have much expected of them will be treated different and held to higher standards, things get harder as you move up, there will always be more work to do. Failure isn't something we accept but something we learn from. Character matters more than talent. Integrity isn't just telling the truth, it's being convicted by it without sacrifice. Responsibility is an expectation of excellence, if you can't perform there will be someone else waiting to take your spot, don't get comfortable and don't be surprised if it happens.You have to always give 100%. There will always be a second chance but you will have to work twice as hard for that one than you did for the first one. You can always be better and helping others out is never below you. Some times you will be the 6th man but that doesn't make you any less important. There are many things that Coach taught me that have made me the man I am today. I wish he would be coaching by the time you were in high school but he will likely be enjoying a well deserved retirement. He is a rarity among men and I can only hope that you will find one like him to teach and shape you.

My dad (Your Grandpa) - There is man whom I could not live without. He has always been my biggest supporter, no matter what. He's also been a great example to me. I've learned from him that you aren't always the same man you used to be and you don't have to accept what other people say you are. There is always knowledge to be absorbed. If you don't allow yourself to persevere through the hard things, you'll never make it through anything. He also taught me that your decisions you make on a day to day basis don't only affect you but also those around you. You will always have to face the consequences of your choices, whether it is today or down the road, your choices will affect you. Every choice you make puts you one step closer in a different direction, be sure your steps are headed the way God wants. It's never too late to change who you are, you'll have a harder time convincing everyone else the further you go. My dad was at every game and always had advice to help me improve. Sometimes all the support anyone needs is for you to just show up.

John (Your Godfather and Uncle) - John is a friend that will always have an impact on my life. I hope you can find a friend like him. I will always remember the things he's taught me and things he's gone through with me. We are like peanut butter and jelly, PB & J. His knowledge and wisdom come from the Bible and things that God has taught him. He knows how to save a dollar and how to bail a friend in need out. You won't find many like him but if you do, invest in it. John and I are quite the unlikely pair of friends but I wouldn't trade a day with him for anything. It's important to have people in your life who won't accept the BS you tell yourself, the ones who will call you out on your nonsense, and the ones that will love you after your nonsense. Find a friend that will push you to be better and that get's excited for your success. These are the friends that you want. You can always tell a mans character by the company he keeps.

Stefan and Anthony - They have shown me that God still has his plans for you, no matter which way life goes. They have also shown me that no matter how much life has sucked or how often things don't go your way, there is joy in the morning. They are two men whom have been through some tough stuff, and I'm sugar coating it, but they have never given up. You will never meet men with bigger hearts, except maybe Jesus. The love that flows from them is just shocking. They're not perfect but they've got a heart of compassion that most men never find. Friends like them are important, they know you and even when you think you aren't on there mind, you're all that has been.

There are many many more men that have impacted my life and one can never have too many great influences. There will be friends that come and go but unless you invest in the relationship you may never know the influence they could have had. There are some that leave bad influences but those are mere moments of learning. Find a few good men and get to know them.

Love ya,
Dad

Read this your Freshman year of High School

Some truth for you son. from your Dad.

Girls will always love and be found of you, you don't need to rush into a relationship, waiting for one that is different in every way is always a good plan. With that being said, there is no need to have a girlfriend in High School. That's time to focus on school, sports, and friendships. Those are the relationships that will last and the moments that will develop you. You don't need a girl to define your status, you define who you are and no one else. High School is tough enough and girls are way more unstable at that point. Keeping girls as friends is the best bet in high school, you don't need to complicate it with "benefits" they aren't your employer. Understand that you will feel the urge to put your penis in every girl with a short skirt but that urge is controlled by prayer and focus. Sticking your penis in things might seem like fun but it will only end up getting you in trouble. First of all her father is likely to kill you and I won't stop him. Secondly, everything is so awkward at that stage you are more likely to embarrass yourself. Lastly, any girl that says "lets do it" or any form of that, is trouble Straight up and you need to run. Just turn and run, any direction, just get gone and fast. Don't worry about explaining yourself, you don't even need pants. The door is a good place to start. Avoiding that situation is going to save you a lot of just complicated nonsense. Their trouble at that age and they don't get any less dangerous, they just get better at hiding it. Stay focused on school and just ride out the crazy emotions that you are experiencing, they don't go away, you just get better at controlling them. High school is a fun time and you should enjoy it but you have to remember that you will always pay the consequences for your choice, whether it be now or later. Develop a reputation for integrity.

Don't worry, by the time you get to college you will find there are even more girls that are going to fall in love with you. I'd suggest focusing on school, girls take a lot of time and money from you, there is no avoiding it. If you do decide to date, don't be nervous, any girl would be lucky to talk to you. Women enjoy attention just as much as you do, so be careful the attention you are giving them and the signal your are sending with that attention. You don't need to worry about having any previous dating experience, if you can make friends you can easily determine the plausibility of a true relationship flourishing into a piece of art designed by God. Trust me, no experience is required when it comes to dating women. Coffee is always a nice neutral setting where you can learn more about a woman than if you both thought it was a date. The easiest way to avoid emotional confusion and think reasonably about a relationship is to avoid the physical aspect for as long as possible. You will find it easy to love people but the only way to fully love a woman is without lust. Control your thoughts and you will control your emotions. Consider each girl you date carefully, you will leave a lasting impression on them and they will do the same to you. Make sure it's always a good impression that leaves her better than when she first met you. You aren't Prince Charming and in no way a Super Hero, so don't try to be. If you meet a girl that is looking for that, you'll have to inform her that you are Kyler and you will always try your best but it's impossible to live up to the unrealistic expectation that you will rescue them from their problems. You can most certainly help along the way and be supportive but you don't even want to try the job of super hero, that's best left to Jesus, try not to get in the way.

All in all son, you'll find the one that's been designed to better you everyday and you will better her. No need to rush any of it. You have time, trust me. You'll have to trust that God's plan is always better than yours. So when yours doesn't work, get excited, because it means God has better things planned. Remember, high school is only 4 years and when it comes down to it only one 20th of your life, that's like nothing. You'll survive that time, just make sure you have good friends not girlfriends. Trust God and hold on to the fact that when you can't see where he is taking you, you know it's better than the way you wanted to go. Keep your penis to yourself. After 4 years old it's not cute and no one wants to see it and it's better if you keep it in your pants.

Love Ya,
Dad

100 Quotes and inspiration

1

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Plato

2

"Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how." Author Unknown

3

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." Ralph Waldo Emerson

4

"For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe." Author Unknown

5

“You must do the things you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt

6

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value." Albert Einstein

7

"Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength." Dalai Lama

8

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." Wayne Dyer

9

"Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure." Oprah Winfrey

10

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." Anthony J. D'Angelo

11

"Faith can move mountains, but don't be surprised if God hands you a shovel." Author Unknown

12

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr.

13

"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you." Deepak Chopra

14

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier." Mother Teresa

15

"To be what you want to be, you must give up being what you are." Cat Stevens

16

"Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care." Theodore Roosevelt

17

"To bring anything into your life, imagine that it's already there!" Richard Bach

18

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." Steve Prefontaine

19

"Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable." Denis Waitley

20

"Don't frown because you never know who might be falling in love with your smile." Author Unknown

21

"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." Harriet Beecher Stowe

22

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Mahatma Gandhi

23

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

24

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa

25

"Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold." Maurice Setter

26

"Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff." Robert Eliot

27

"Faith is building on what you know is here, so you can reach what you know is there." Cullen Hightower

28

"Regardless of your lot in life, you can build something beautiful on it." Zig Ziglar

29

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." Walt Disney

30

"Anywhere is paradise; it's up to you." Author Unknown

31

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." Art Linkletter

32

"Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned." Peter Marshall

33

"Don't find fault. Find a remedy." Henry Ford

34

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." James Baldwin

35

"Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." Garth Brooks

36

"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." Walt Disney

37

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." Ralph Waldo Emerson

38

"The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears." John Vance Cheney

39

"The darkest hour has only sixty minutes." Morris Mandel

40

"When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best." Leslie Grossman

41

"An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything." Lynn Johnston

42

"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't." Blaise Pascal

43

"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

44

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Lewis Smedes

45

"Do all things with love." Og Mandino

46

"Remember, if you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!" Allison Gappa Bottke

47

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." Benjamin Disraeli

48

"Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things." Joe Paterno

49

"Be kind whenever possible....It is always possible." Dalai Lama

50

"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow." Anthony J. D'Angelo

51

"If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it." Frank Tyger

52

"You don't have to be great to start - but you have to start to be great." John C. Maxwell

53

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." Walt Disney

54

"Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret." Mary Kay Ash

55

"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." Ralph Waldo Emerson

56

"To see things in the seed, that is genius." Lao Tzu

57

"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought." Peace Pilgrim

58

"Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.'" Kahlil Gibran

59

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." Winston Churchill

60

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault

61

"Whenever you fall, pick something up." Oswald Avery

62

"The impossible can always be broken down into possibilities." Author Unknown

63

"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." Alex Karras

64

"Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway." Emory Austin

65

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell

66

"Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. " Ralph Marston

67

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." M. Kathleen Casey

68

"Turn your wounds into wisdom." Oprah Winfrey

69

"Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose - the eye sheds a tear to find its focus." Robert Brault

70

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." Friedrich Nietzsche

71

"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars." Violeta Parra

72

"The gem cannot be polished without friction nor man without trials." Confucius

73

"Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark." Rabindranath Tagore

74

"Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it." Dee Hock

75

"Imagine no limitations; decide what's right and desirable before you decide what's possible." Brian Tracy

76

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." Maya Angelou

77

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." Ralph Waldo Emerson

78

"Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul." Mark Twain

79

"Whatever good things we build end up building us." Jim Rohn

80

"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." David Carradine

81

"Never look down on someone unless you're helping them up." Jesse Jackson

82

"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it." Rabindranath Tagore

83

"An old belief is like an old shoe. We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it." Robert Brault

84

"Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn't fall there." Author Unknown

85

"Peace begins with a smile." Mother Teresa

86

"We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails." Author Unknown

87

"A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." Ken Keyes, Jr.

88

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." Maori Proverb

89

"A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain." Arabian Proverb

90

"Be content to act, and leave the talking to others." Baltasar Gracian

91

"If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt." Henry J. Kaiser

92

"The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs." Vance Havner

93

"The best way out of a problem is through it." Author Unknown

94

"People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do." Lewis Cass

95

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn." Author Unknown

96

"The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." Harry Golden

97

"Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds." Norman Vincent Peale

98

"The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter." Author Unknown

99

"How can something bother you if you won't let it?" Terri Guillemets

100

"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother." Kahlil Gibran

Hard Work

Son, You will find that as part of the fallout of sin our work is supposed to be hard. Genesis 3:19 "By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken and to dust you will return.” Often you will find that that many things will demand a lot of you and it will require hard work to get through it. One of the most satisfying things for a man is to see the fruit of his hard work. You'll never want something that you can get with ease. You need to work hard for the things that matter most to you. That includes friends and family, your girlfriend or wife, and the relationship you will have with God. They all take tons of work to produce the kind of fruit that you want. It takes constant tending to and nurturing to develop any of these relationships into something beautiful.

God provide the easiest and some times the hardest relationship to build. All he ask is that you give up yourself completely. Some times this is easy to do when there isn't much to give up and some times it's harder to do. You just have to trust him fully. He does know what's best and has the best planned for you. To be honest, it's easier to just give him your whole life and not worry about where you are going to end up because you can't get any better than knowing God has your life in his hands.

There are many other places were hard work is going to do you well. Work, Sports, School, and even your health. If you always determine that you will work your hardest on whatever you do, you will always be happy with the outcome. Sometimes you don't get what you want but if you gave all you had there is nothing else you can do and the results of that are always acceptable. There is no better reward than giving all you had and seeing the fruits of that. Always keep your head up and put your nose to the grindstone. Work hard, work smart, and have fun.Proverbs 14:23 "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty."

Love Ya,
Dad

Keep your head up

Son, always remember to keep you head up. I'll explain what I mean by that. There are so many things in this world that are going to demand everything of you and many will demand more than you can handle. Luckily you've got someone awesome on your side and He has overcome the world. Jesus is who you will always have walking with and carrying you. It might seem like this world is baring down on you and things most certainly will be tough, but there is no reason to fear or worry because Jesus has conquered this whole world, death couldn't even hold Him.
Job 42:2 "I know that you can do anything,
and no one can stop you."
Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in
trouble.
God has your back. He promises things will be hard, He even says it will seem unbearable. But He also promises to provide you with enough strength, grace, and mercy to get through it all. If you ever feel like you might be forgetting this, just ask God to remind you and He will.
Love ya,
Dad

Joy

Son, sometimes you have to take joy in life, especially in the tough times. Joy is a wonderful thing. Joy is a sense of delight. Joy is different than Happiness. Happiness is defined by circumstance and what happens to you. Joy is a mind set, it's an emotion you decide to feel. James 1:2-4 says that we should consider it great Joy when we face many trials. Joy is a feeling you can have when you know there is more to look forward to. That is the promise God gives us. The promise that we will experience trials in this life but nothing can compare to the Joy that's coming. That ultimate Joy is when we finally make it to heaven to live eternally with Him. That is the Joy you can always look forward to and know that the joy you experience on earth can't even match up to what God's presence brings. Having a joyful outlook on life will always make the good times shine brighter and the bad ones fade away. You can always have joy knowing that God loves you, your mom loves you, and I love you. There is no better feeling than the love of God. Always remember to take joy and understand that the trials are the things that build us up and make us stronger.

Love ya,
Dad