As Christmas approaches this year you are still growing away inside your mom. I wish you were here and I can't wait till you are. It would have been awesome to have you as a Christmas present but I won't mind having you as a valentines gift. You've got a 2 months so don't pop out just yet.
I read an article from a father regarding Christmas and I liked it. It is good advice for me and I think you may be able to use it some day. Also feel free to call me out on it whenever I fall short.
Christmas can be a tough time of the year, can’t it? Aren’t you sick of all the commercials this time of year, too? Each one promising the same: a better body, true happiness and a more satisfying relationship…if only you buy their latest wonder product (“In just three easy payments!”). It’s enough to make me want to throw a brick through the TV set.
My kids are most susceptible to the influence of this “want” advertising, and each day brings a new desire to be added to their Christmas List for Santa. I fall prey to it too: Yes, I want the latest Apple gadget, but I also want more money and more certainty in my life. All of that seems shallow and fleeting…and it is.
The Bible makes clear what the real wants of men and women are: “Husbands love your wives” and “wives respect your husbands” (Ephesians 5). Guys, our wives or girlfriends want our love and our nurturing…and likewise, we want (and need) their respect and appreciation. But wanting to make your partner happy can be futile. The shiny, glittery things fade or rust; money is quickly spent (and gone); and there will always be “the next best thing”. Solomon, the wisest, richest guy who ever lived called these things “meaningless” (See: The Book of Ecclesiastes). So what’s a guy to do?!
I’m right in the thick of this.
Looking deeper into my relationship, I want my wife to be happy this Christmas season. You know the saying “If mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”. But what I’ve come to realize, after many failed attempts, is that I can’t make my wife happy. No amount of money or bright and shiny things can take away the pain and grief she’s experienced this year: the death of her mother. Maybe I can’t make her happy…but what I can do is love her in the mess, and try and make a difference in her world. Like, doing more around the house. Helping out at meal time. Working with the kids on homework and not being so snarky about my own emotional and physical needs. And dare I say it…turning off the television. These are all steps that I know would lead to making a difference in my home.
After taking another look at the Christmas Wish List, I think it should probably look like this:
MY KIDS: My undivided attention (and not just during Halftime)
MY WIFE: My love and active involvement in the day-to-day life of the household
As far as I know, Apple hasn’t come up with an app that takes the place of a dad (thank God!), nor has RonCo created a replacement for a husband (“Slices, dices, does the dishes!”). Not yet anyway. Perhaps God is saying, “Be a good Santa and give your family what they really want…More of you.”
I currently am not around and have not been around during most of your mom's pregnancy with you. One day I will pour all the knowledge I learned, from my time not being around, into you. I tell you one thing though I love your mother and I always will. I am going to fight for your mom. I messed up and didn't do everything right when I found out you were coming along. Most of that was due to my lack of knowledge and the fact that I didn't have the greatest example set for me. I love your mom, though we are not together now I am going to love her with all my heart and always be there for you and her. Never forget the ones that matter, they are always worth giving up everything else for.
Love Ya,
Dad
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Fight the Good Fight
Being a man you will often feel the need to just fight for no reason. Whether it is to fight your old man, best friends, or some guy who just looked at you funny. You'll have that itch all your life and it is actually a good thing. It's not always a good thing to fight back however. I know that doesn't make sense but I will explain it.
With the urge to fight will come the urge to win. These urges will propel you over the greatest obstacles in your life. You will come to a point when you realize what is worth fighting for and what battles are best left un-fought. Any fight that involves you standing up for any one, especially a woman, is always a fight worth fighting. The fights that involve you defending your pride are ones you don't want to fight. The fights involving pride always end in you being humbled, that's because your fighting God on that one and it's better to never put on your gloves than to be forced on your knees. Proverbs 16:18. Only you can be the judge of when you're fighting for pride or for the sake of something worth fighting for.
Some fights you get in to you will get your ass kicked but as long as you fought with all your heart there is no shame in losing, don't let anyone tell you differently. You're mom says you already know how to throw a hard punch, I'll teach you how to land a good combo. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, even when everyone else is sitting down. You fight your hardest and never back down. Once you commit to something see it through until the end. You'll never regret putting all your heart into something, even if your ass does. (Your mom might get mad that I said that but I will always be honest with you).
Fighting doesn't always mean hitting someone. You can fight with your heart and never have to throw a punch. Simply by speaking out or saying no, you can put up a much stronger fight than you could with your fist. Keep your head up and never give up the fight. Stand up for what's right and let your pride fall before you do. Be a trouble-shooter and not a trouble-maker.
Love,
Dad
With the urge to fight will come the urge to win. These urges will propel you over the greatest obstacles in your life. You will come to a point when you realize what is worth fighting for and what battles are best left un-fought. Any fight that involves you standing up for any one, especially a woman, is always a fight worth fighting. The fights that involve you defending your pride are ones you don't want to fight. The fights involving pride always end in you being humbled, that's because your fighting God on that one and it's better to never put on your gloves than to be forced on your knees. Proverbs 16:18. Only you can be the judge of when you're fighting for pride or for the sake of something worth fighting for.
Some fights you get in to you will get your ass kicked but as long as you fought with all your heart there is no shame in losing, don't let anyone tell you differently. You're mom says you already know how to throw a hard punch, I'll teach you how to land a good combo. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, even when everyone else is sitting down. You fight your hardest and never back down. Once you commit to something see it through until the end. You'll never regret putting all your heart into something, even if your ass does. (Your mom might get mad that I said that but I will always be honest with you).
Fighting doesn't always mean hitting someone. You can fight with your heart and never have to throw a punch. Simply by speaking out or saying no, you can put up a much stronger fight than you could with your fist. Keep your head up and never give up the fight. Stand up for what's right and let your pride fall before you do. Be a trouble-shooter and not a trouble-maker.
Love,
Dad
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