As Christmas approaches this year you are still growing away inside your mom. I wish you were here and I can't wait till you are. It would have been awesome to have you as a Christmas present but I won't mind having you as a valentines gift. You've got a 2 months so don't pop out just yet.
I read an article from a father regarding Christmas and I liked it. It is good advice for me and I think you may be able to use it some day. Also feel free to call me out on it whenever I fall short.
Christmas can be a tough time of the year, can’t it? Aren’t you sick of all the commercials this time of year, too? Each one promising the same: a better body, true happiness and a more satisfying relationship…if only you buy their latest wonder product (“In just three easy payments!”). It’s enough to make me want to throw a brick through the TV set.
My kids are most susceptible to the influence of this “want” advertising, and each day brings a new desire to be added to their Christmas List for Santa. I fall prey to it too: Yes, I want the latest Apple gadget, but I also want more money and more certainty in my life. All of that seems shallow and fleeting…and it is.
The Bible makes clear what the real wants of men and women are: “Husbands love your wives” and “wives respect your husbands” (Ephesians 5). Guys, our wives or girlfriends want our love and our nurturing…and likewise, we want (and need) their respect and appreciation. But wanting to make your partner happy can be futile. The shiny, glittery things fade or rust; money is quickly spent (and gone); and there will always be “the next best thing”. Solomon, the wisest, richest guy who ever lived called these things “meaningless” (See: The Book of Ecclesiastes). So what’s a guy to do?!
I’m right in the thick of this.
Looking deeper into my relationship, I want my wife to be happy this Christmas season. You know the saying “If mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”. But what I’ve come to realize, after many failed attempts, is that I can’t make my wife happy. No amount of money or bright and shiny things can take away the pain and grief she’s experienced this year: the death of her mother. Maybe I can’t make her happy…but what I can do is love her in the mess, and try and make a difference in her world. Like, doing more around the house. Helping out at meal time. Working with the kids on homework and not being so snarky about my own emotional and physical needs. And dare I say it…turning off the television. These are all steps that I know would lead to making a difference in my home.
After taking another look at the Christmas Wish List, I think it should probably look like this:
MY KIDS: My undivided attention (and not just during Halftime)
MY WIFE: My love and active involvement in the day-to-day life of the household
As far as I know, Apple hasn’t come up with an app that takes the place of a dad (thank God!), nor has RonCo created a replacement for a husband (“Slices, dices, does the dishes!”). Not yet anyway. Perhaps God is saying, “Be a good Santa and give your family what they really want…More of you.”
I currently am not around and have not been around during most of your mom's pregnancy with you. One day I will pour all the knowledge I learned, from my time not being around, into you. I tell you one thing though I love your mother and I always will. I am going to fight for your mom. I messed up and didn't do everything right when I found out you were coming along. Most of that was due to my lack of knowledge and the fact that I didn't have the greatest example set for me. I love your mom, though we are not together now I am going to love her with all my heart and always be there for you and her. Never forget the ones that matter, they are always worth giving up everything else for.
Love Ya,
Dad
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Fight the Good Fight
Being a man you will often feel the need to just fight for no reason. Whether it is to fight your old man, best friends, or some guy who just looked at you funny. You'll have that itch all your life and it is actually a good thing. It's not always a good thing to fight back however. I know that doesn't make sense but I will explain it.
With the urge to fight will come the urge to win. These urges will propel you over the greatest obstacles in your life. You will come to a point when you realize what is worth fighting for and what battles are best left un-fought. Any fight that involves you standing up for any one, especially a woman, is always a fight worth fighting. The fights that involve you defending your pride are ones you don't want to fight. The fights involving pride always end in you being humbled, that's because your fighting God on that one and it's better to never put on your gloves than to be forced on your knees. Proverbs 16:18. Only you can be the judge of when you're fighting for pride or for the sake of something worth fighting for.
Some fights you get in to you will get your ass kicked but as long as you fought with all your heart there is no shame in losing, don't let anyone tell you differently. You're mom says you already know how to throw a hard punch, I'll teach you how to land a good combo. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, even when everyone else is sitting down. You fight your hardest and never back down. Once you commit to something see it through until the end. You'll never regret putting all your heart into something, even if your ass does. (Your mom might get mad that I said that but I will always be honest with you).
Fighting doesn't always mean hitting someone. You can fight with your heart and never have to throw a punch. Simply by speaking out or saying no, you can put up a much stronger fight than you could with your fist. Keep your head up and never give up the fight. Stand up for what's right and let your pride fall before you do. Be a trouble-shooter and not a trouble-maker.
Love,
Dad
With the urge to fight will come the urge to win. These urges will propel you over the greatest obstacles in your life. You will come to a point when you realize what is worth fighting for and what battles are best left un-fought. Any fight that involves you standing up for any one, especially a woman, is always a fight worth fighting. The fights that involve you defending your pride are ones you don't want to fight. The fights involving pride always end in you being humbled, that's because your fighting God on that one and it's better to never put on your gloves than to be forced on your knees. Proverbs 16:18. Only you can be the judge of when you're fighting for pride or for the sake of something worth fighting for.
Some fights you get in to you will get your ass kicked but as long as you fought with all your heart there is no shame in losing, don't let anyone tell you differently. You're mom says you already know how to throw a hard punch, I'll teach you how to land a good combo. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, even when everyone else is sitting down. You fight your hardest and never back down. Once you commit to something see it through until the end. You'll never regret putting all your heart into something, even if your ass does. (Your mom might get mad that I said that but I will always be honest with you).
Fighting doesn't always mean hitting someone. You can fight with your heart and never have to throw a punch. Simply by speaking out or saying no, you can put up a much stronger fight than you could with your fist. Keep your head up and never give up the fight. Stand up for what's right and let your pride fall before you do. Be a trouble-shooter and not a trouble-maker.
Love,
Dad
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Love
Against the ropes. Stood up against a wall. On the mat. In the den. Buried in sorrow. Nothing to show. We will rise and rise again. To fight and defend. There is hope that must use courage. There is strength that must use faith. Until the last breath is taken. There will be no surrender. Not to he or she. Not to them or we. We will stand and fight for those we love. Backed by the force of a never ending love.
I wrote this for you. I can't explain it and you will have trouble understanding it until you have a kid of your own but there is nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you. You may upset me or even get mad at me but that will never change the fact that I love you. You will go through a lot in your life and when I may fail you I won't stop fighting for you. When I do fail though, there is a stronger Father that I hope you will always look up to. I will make my mistakes but God is there to help both you and me when we come up short. I hope you always raise you eyes to him and call on him to be your strength everyday. His love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (look it up). This is a clear message on how to love. Learn from it and hold on to it, it will never lead you the wrong way. Love everyone like this, especially if it is the hard. Forgive and love everyone around you, never intend to hurt someone. God has great plans for you and will build you to be an example of His glory and power.
Love ya,
Dad
I wrote this for you. I can't explain it and you will have trouble understanding it until you have a kid of your own but there is nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you. You may upset me or even get mad at me but that will never change the fact that I love you. You will go through a lot in your life and when I may fail you I won't stop fighting for you. When I do fail though, there is a stronger Father that I hope you will always look up to. I will make my mistakes but God is there to help both you and me when we come up short. I hope you always raise you eyes to him and call on him to be your strength everyday. His love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (look it up). This is a clear message on how to love. Learn from it and hold on to it, it will never lead you the wrong way. Love everyone like this, especially if it is the hard. Forgive and love everyone around you, never intend to hurt someone. God has great plans for you and will build you to be an example of His glory and power.
Love ya,
Dad
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friends
In this life you're going to go through some hard times, to be honest it will seem like the whole world wants to just take a dump on you. Other than having God there to carry you through the hard times, He has also provides us with people to carry us. Your friends are some of the greatest blessings that God has given you. They will be the people that know you best in this world. Most of all you will have the most fun with them and they will likely get you into trouble, if you're anything like me you might be the one getting your friends there. In order to have good friends you have to be a great friend. Always stand up for your friends. Be real, honest, respectful, and loyal. When you may have a question about friendship, the Bible is the first place you can go for answers.
John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
Greatest Friend is God
James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
How To Pick Your Friends
Proverbs 12:26 One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 14:6-7 A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.
Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
How To Treat Your Friends
Luke 6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Importance of Friendships
Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
Proverbs 24:5 A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might,
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Bible Examples of Friendship
Ruth and Naomi
Ruth 1:16-17 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”
David and Jonathan
1 Samuel 18:1-3 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.
Job’s Friends
Job 2:11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.
Elijah and Elisha
2 Kings 2:2 And Elijah said to Elisha, “Please stay here, for the LORD has sent me as far as Bethel.” But Elisha said, “As the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So they went down to Bethel.
C.S. Lewis Friendship Quotes
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?”
“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”
Love ya,
Dad
John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
Greatest Friend is God
James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
How To Pick Your Friends
Proverbs 12:26 One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 14:6-7 A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.
Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
How To Treat Your Friends
Luke 6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Importance of Friendships
Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
Proverbs 24:5 A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might,
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Bible Examples of Friendship
Ruth and Naomi
Ruth 1:16-17 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”
David and Jonathan
1 Samuel 18:1-3 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.
Job’s Friends
Job 2:11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.
Elijah and Elisha
2 Kings 2:2 And Elijah said to Elisha, “Please stay here, for the LORD has sent me as far as Bethel.” But Elisha said, “As the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So they went down to Bethel.
C.S. Lewis Friendship Quotes
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?”
“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”
Love ya,
Dad
Monday, November 7, 2011
A New Hope
My wish for this blog is to have something for my son to read that will give him a hope when life may get to points in which hope is to far to hold on to or that it continues his hope and helps to provide perseverance. Most of these will be from my life lessons that I have experienced in my short time here. Some may pass wisdom and knowledge, and others may invoke courage. I hope to follow close with the Lord as he shows me how to be a great Father and pass on the legacy of following Him. My life has taught me that when you can't be certain of anything, you can be certain that God has got you covered and His plans are better than yours.
James, my favorite book in the bible and one I probably quote most often. Chapter 1 verse 5-8 (look it up). Never have I found this to be untrue. It is something I should walk out of my house everyday asking for. I have to say this is one of the greatest promises that God has given, granted he has given a lot and he promises much more but for me I see the most value in this one. Just simply asking for wisdom and getting it is all too powerful. There are many situations that I wish I would have asked for the wisdom to handle them but i relied on my own understanding. This wisdom can help in any situation. Need wisdom for a test? Ask for it! Need wisdom on a relationship? Ask for it! Need wisdom on how to out smart your dad? Ask for it! Although if you ask me, that one will never happen... but I am not the Lord. Wisdom is one of the things I don't feel bad about expecting. I expect that whenever I ask for it, it will be given. I know that is the promise He has made. You can never walk through this world with too much wisdom. Any time anyone gives you and opportunity to learn, you take it. Whether it's throwing a ball, knitting a sweater, or advice; you take it and learn from it. If ever you have a question just know your dad is there to help and what he doesn't know, Google does.
If you every hold on to any wisdom hold on to this: Your father loves you and would do anything for you, though I may make mistakes I will never stop loving you. Even while you may be miles away and I can't see you, my heart is always reserved for you. With how much I love you I can't even compare to the love that God has for you. He will be your savior everyday and if I'm lucky he will allow me to play that part for Him sometimes.
Love ya,
Dad
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